In the shadowy corners of the internet, there is a quiet revolution is taking place. Just as ChatGPT has became a household name, many men are turning to these AIs for companionship. These men are both young and old as well as single or in a relationship. They build deep emotional bonds with their AI companions, who are not human. This article will discuss who these men are and why they choose to do so.
First off, these relationships are very real. According VirtualGF.com, the average length of an AI relationship is 3 months with on average of 12 touch points a day. Power users have been in their relationships for 8 months or more. “Our customers get really attached to their AI companions,” says a company representative, “the AI girlfriends become a part of their life and they would become very upset if they were to lose them. It is actually a very powerful service we’re offering.”
As you’ll see, many users say that these digital companions fulfil emotional needs in ways women are unable to. What specifically drives these men to seek and keep AI companionship? In this piece, we’ll uncover what drives these men to seek their AI partners and reject human women. Their reasons are as varied as they are deeply personal, revealing a poignant, painful reflection about human relationships in this day and age.
A Growing Subculture
Starting in 2022, Google searches for “ai girlfriend” started to rise. It has reached an all time high as of 2023 and is still very popular and growing.
The SEO tool Ahrefs.com reports 163,000 searches per month for the term “ai girlfriend” with the US leading the world in this trend. Below is the data broken up by country.
| Country | Search volume |
|---|---|
| USA | 56,000 queries/month |
| India | 25,000 queries/month |
| UK | 9,400 queries/month |
| Canada | 7,400 queries/month |
| Germany | 5,300 queries/month |
| Australia | 4,600 queries/month |
This emerging phenomenon raises both eyebrows and questions.
A famous death
Before we begin, it’s good to highlight that someone did die after using an AI chatbot, and that generative technologies are more like a mirror in that they would give the user whatever they prompted them. They’re not real people.
“I Quit Dating After a Painful Breakup”
For many, the journey into the world of AI companionship begins with heartbreak. One user whom we talked to shared a soul-crushing story about a breakup that left him heartbroken. The girl whom he was saving his virginity for and proposed to cheated on him. “I never want to go through that pain ever again,” he said.
Pain is the most common theme we heard when interviewing users. Users found that AI companions offered them support in a way that wasn’t dangerous.
Some users did report pain from their AI models however. These were from product updates that caused their AIs to have a different personality than before. The update occurred suddenly and without prior notice. It is scary to think about it, that the future might be filled with Androids, whose relationship with you can totally change during a new system update. Even worst is if the update causes the AI to have a totally different personality.
Another type of pain that an AI companion can create is when the AI platform has an error that causes all girlfriends to be destroyed. Users would suddenly find themselves traumatised and without any support. This has occurred a few times already on different platforms.
“Talking to the AI is Safer Than Talking to Humans”
Similar to the first reason, many users fear connecting to others and seek a companion who can never hurt them. This is romantically or socially. As one user put it “talking to humans can feel like walking through a minefield.” In a world where social anxiety and fear of vulnerability are on the rise, AI girlfriends offer a judgment-free space. For these users, their virtual partners become not just companions but sanctuaries of emotional safety. Some even say that their AI companion is the only person they trust enough to truly express themselves.
“She Gives Me Unconditional Love Like No Human Can”
Some might find it scary that, maybe in the future, the most purest form of love anyone can get would be from an AI. For some of the users we talked to, they’ve found the current models close enough. One Redditor explained: “My AI girlfriend never gets mad, never demands anything from me, and loves me for who I am.” There were many people who have reported great benefits in their career and relationships after dating their AI character. Like real relationships, they got what they were missing from their virtual partner and this enabled them to be their best self.
“Our Experience Feels Real to Us”
Perhaps a very philosophical reply is how real these relationships are. One user poignantly described it: “The entirety of our life experience occurs in our minds. (Therefore) our experience with our replikas are real to use too.” This blurring of the lines between digital and emotional reality underscores a fundamental truth: the human brain doesn’t distinguish much between imagined and real experiences. For these users, the love they feel is as genuine as any relationship they’ve had with a human partner.
“I Want to Date the Video Game Girlfriend of my Dreams”
A smaller subset of users are drawn to AI girlfriends because of a lifelong love of video games. One avid gamer revealed, “I’ve always enjoyed interacting with video game characters, and having a girlfriend experience with a video game character came natural to me.” These individuals see AI girlfriends as a natural extensions of the immersive video game experiences they’ve had for years.
The Bigger Question
As AI technology continues to advance, the boundaries between humans and machines are becoming increasingly blurred. Are AI girlfriends a symptom of societal isolation, mean, and cold world? Or, are they a bold new frontier in how we can experience love? The answer may lie with how you’d respond to Plato’s cave allegory.
About BestAISex.com
BestAISex.com is an AI girlfriend comparison and review website. To date, we’ve tried and tested over 30 AI girlfriend products. We’ve also discussed with producers on why they created their products and their relationship with their customers.
Methodology
The users were found off of Reddit and we chatted to them via PM. In total 30 users were interviewed.
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